:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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