remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
