Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
