had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We need a shit load of segways right now
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
