I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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