I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
