shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
