I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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