I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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