Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
