My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
