there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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