Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
