Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
