Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
