There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
