Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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