4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize