our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
