If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
