You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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