I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
