Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I wish you could order shots online.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
