We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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