wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Can you bring me the toilet please
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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