I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
