you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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