OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
We named our party play list daddy issues
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
