2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Panties = found
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
