Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
