i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Dignity is for republicans.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
