Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
