He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize