Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
where are you?
Hypothermia
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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