if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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