how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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