I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
