She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
