Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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