i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
