she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
