Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
