I feel like abortions should bother me more
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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