I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
