My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
