My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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