He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
