Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
