she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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