You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
