Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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