It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
