i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize