Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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