ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
