# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
