Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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