Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
