perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize