apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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