I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
