Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
