what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize