Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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